Diary of a Stay at Home Mom: Sexual Predators are a Mother's Worst Fear

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Friday, June 22, 2012

Sexual Predators are a Mother's Worst Fear

I'm sure everyone has already heard that Sandusky was found guilty during his sex abuse trial, and if you have not heard, well then you heard it here first (sorry trying to insert some humor).  I have been hearing story after story about these predators, abusing and molesting children, and no one finding out until years later.  My biggest fear is that someone will hurt my child and I have told my kids over and over that if anything like that happens or is suggested to them that they need to let me of an adult they trust know immediately.  We even had a case in our hometown where a high school student sexually assaulted a child on the school bus.  Yet another reason my children do not ride the bus, high schoolers should not ride the same bus as elementary school kids.  This stuff makes me sick.  I have no idea how anyone can look at a child and be attracted to them in that way.  I am so paranoid everywhere I go.  The thing that is worst for me is public bathrooms, let me explain.  My son is at the age now that he wants to use the mens room rather than the ladies, and he knows the difference.  Once in a while I can still convince him but sometimes he is very persistant.  I have told him time and time again to make sure the stall door is shut and locked, to make sure he doesn't pull his pants all the way down when using the urinal....but he is 4, has a tiny attention span, and has no idea that if he is not careful he could get hurt.  He has walked out of a public bathroom in the past still pulling his undies up and everything showing, I about died.  How can I get this through to him without totally freaking him out?  I am now that creepy woman that stands halfway in the door of the men's bathroom so that I can at least hear what he is doing and that no one is bugging him.  I never had these issues with my daughter since we use the same restroom.  I have to give major props to businesses that have the "family bathroom", I hope they know how much stress they save me, and probably other moms (I hope I'm not alone on this)  Any ladies (or guys) out there have any advice on how to get my son to be more private and aware?  Please leave me a comment on what has worked for you.


Heather said...

My thoughts ....exactly!
I am paranoid about this same issue.
Afraid someone will hurt my children and I won't find out until many years later which is exactly what happened to my husband and his brothers! I don't trust people with my children.
They do not attend camps, sleepovers and such.
Right now they are all so littel (7,5 and 2) and I do tell them to always tell me if someone hurts them or tells them something uncomfortable so we can stop that from every happening again to them or someone else. My son, at 5, sometimes does ask to go into the men's but I say NO. Thanks for posting this. I believe we need to talk about it MORE with our children and with each other so as to let people know Do NOT mess with my kids!

Teh Doll said...

I am super over protective and very fear full.
Being in Florida it is know that there are pedophiles everywhere. I did one of those predator searches for my neighborhood and found out there are 7 that live in my neighborhood. Needless to say I never let my kids play in the front yard only the fenced in back. And when they get older I will not let them walk to the bus stop. I'll be driving them, NO BUS EVER. I rather be safe then sorry. There was one time when I was younger that I was almost snagged by a van and sadly one of my neighborhood friends went missing shortly after that. So there is always that fear for me. My little girl just turned seven and has been asking to go over friends houses. But we don't let her , she is safest at home. You don't know what the situation is over there or who is over there. I feel bad but we are only protecting her. Bathroom we don't have a problem but my little guy is only two. I know there is going to be a day I am faced with the same. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I feel like I am being a little over protective. But it is good to know there are other mom's out there that are just as protective. =)

Anonymous said...

I am single stay at home mom. I am on a fixed income, live in a housing program (terrible neighborhood), and am raising my one year old son alone. I don't trust anyone with my child. I tried a daycare but since it was a run of the mill (can't afford proper care) but he kept getting hurt. Its terrible. I can't go back to work cause I have no one to watch my child. We are stuck! There are over 20 registered sex offenders all within a mile radius of our home. The women I know are reckless with their own kids so why would I allow them to watch mine?! I have extreme levels of stress and stay in constant fear of predators. I no longer have any male friends. I don't have anyone really, even females over due to my fear levels. To me everyone is suspect. If you look at the numbers of sexually abused kids it is staggering. Even children are harming other children...just look at the story that broke of the eight year old beating a toddler in a daycare in Mississippi! Sandusky, Catholic priests, the list is endless. The world is not safe for your kids. As a single mom I am doing it all and with no support. This is the hardest undertaking of my life. And I am so tired of society in general making light of what is the new normal...oh kids will be kids...boys will be boys...no! what is happening is a shift in society where the unacceptable is commonplace. And child predators are everywhere! Quite frankly it is time to let them know they are not welcome in society. I think the death penalty should be in place for first time offenders. Oprah does a sgement on how these animals manuver. ok so sure i am interested to know...but i don't care to understand them or to hear about their pain. I just want them eliminated from society. We as a society have become to tolerant and permissive in a pursuit to understand and to be "Christian like"...I am christian and even Christ turned tables upside down (in the book of John) with his fury. I say take all the predators put them on Rikers Island and let them molest and sadimize each other! It's about time decent people can go to bed at night and breathe easier

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